lock or key, don’t be a shitty person.

November 21, 2009

a few days ago, I was browsing the Live Feed from the bane of my existence Facebook and noticed that someone on my ‘Friends’ list had posted this as a “joke”:

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock. That shut her up.

first of all, >:| .

okay, now that those highly offended keystrokes are out of my system, let’s get down to it.

double standards. ah, double standards. we’d be denying the existence of life itself if we were to pretend that they still weren’t alive and well in today’s society. they are everywhere – in fact, you know the ‘d’ that makes all the difference between “slut” and “stud”? it stands for double standards!

all joking aside: gendered double standards, despite their propensity to seem harmless due to their potential hee-haw factor as demonstrated above, are just the tip of the iceberg of all the underlying sexism lurking just beneath the surface of society. it is not okay that, socially speaking, women are still trapped in the dark ages with regards to equality in sexual freedom, and it is definitely not okay to use these derogatory statements to judge and put down women who choose to break out of this repressive mold.

the act of sex is that of an equal sharing between two evenly-matched individuals on even ground. but society has turned it into a chase, a hunt in which the man pursues and the woman flees. to twist sex into a tool of conquest and the metaphorical epitome of man triumphing over woman’s ‘last defense’ takes civilized society back, more just than a few steps. is it not enough that this male-privileging metaphor already predominates popular culture? is it necessary to continue to actively put down women who seek to reach equilibrium with men in regards to rights of sexual freedom?

some will say that these double standards are just a vestigial remnant of past cultural norms – a throwback to the days of old, if you will – and as it is, it’s as harmless as the chivalrous act of a man opening a door for a woman. nevertheless, I think I’d be more than happy to trade in my opened-door privileges any day for a shift towards a societal perception that no longer holds the sexes to different provisions, standards, or degrees of judgment.

yours truly and truly exhausted yours,



5 Responses to “lock or key, don’t be a shitty person.”

  1. Matt Says:


    Nice scare quotes there… I can totally see them saying this in person and then laughing at their own comment while people nearby just fidget in their seats and look at each other uncomfortably since it’s obvious to everyone but him that everyone can tell despite the “joke” that’s exactly how he actually feels.

    These memes just get nastier the older they get… the zero-sum sex game is one hell of an old vampire to fight, and the stakes need constante replacement.

  2. Julia Says:

    ahaha sorry. but i freaking love that lock and key thing. brilliant HAHA.

  3. Smartie77 Says:

    Women are just more accepting of men who are promiscuous than men are of women who are promiscuous. If you want to change the double standard, don’t demand that men start accepting women who are promiscuous. Simply stop accepting men who are promiscuous.

  4. Leah Says:

    I absolutely couldn’t agree with this more. I always joke about how I would love to be a “slut” because I would be able to feel comfortable enough to explore my true sexuality without guilt, shame or consequences (I’m pretty there, anyways). So whenever I hear someone call a woman that, I usually finish their sentence with “good for her”.

    Also, all I have to say is…if I’m a lock, then the key has to mold to ME.

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